Some titillating things must come to an end...
After a soul-searching, I realized missing a lot of things. I have my priorities in life, and one of these means leading the straight path.
It has been a good ride. I have found online 'friends' like you. There had been highs and lows. The sudden turns to the left or right made the part of the trip a little exciting. However, I have come to a point when you feel you have had enough, when it does not go any farther. SO what is the use of taking the "off the beaten path?"
At some point in time, one has to make a decision...I have to make one for myself. In fact, I have decided on it sometime ago. But the lure of being with someone who makes you feel differently, sometimes, grapple with your wits and senses. It has never been easy to deny the truth--it has never been easy not to bite the bait. We are all humans after all. But so I say, I have had more than enough.
Barbra says, "some good things never last." I admit it, it is more than good. It was delightful. I am not a hypocrite to deny that.
But at this point in my life...what can be more delightful when you know you have come to terms with yourself and live with that and just be at peace with yourself while in hiding. No one will ever know the truth. Even, Badong, who, I think, knows the real me. If push comes to shove, I will let him know in due time...that I am gay...and yes, I fell in love with him, too.
Life is short. Sad to say, I should live it according to what the society dictates. But I must go on. I must keep on going.
Thank you for your understanding.