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Ang stalker ni Mr. G

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (video game)Image via WikipediaOo naman!  Kahit panget ako, may stalker din!  Isa lang.  Ay dalawa pala!  Ka-buang pala!  Kakailanganin mo ang mala-CSI investigative prowess mo para malaman kung sino ang text nang text at kung bakit alam ang buong kaluluwa mo!  Sa isang gaya kong in-the-closet, nakakabaliw ang mangyari ito especially kung manggagaling sila sa work environment mo.

Stalker Number 1.

May I text nya ako. Sinabi nya na gusto nya ako, at gusto nya ako ma-meet! Alam nya kung saan ako nagwo-work at kung anu-ano ang pinaggagawa ko sa buhay!  Mabaliw-baliw ako sa kakaisip kung paano nya nalaman ang number ko.  Sabi nya, may nagbigay daw sa kanya.  Hindi ko pinatulan. Hindi na ako sumagot after kong syang tinanong about his knowledge of my phone number.  Pero makulet.  So inalam ko konti ang background nya without giving a hint of who I really am in terms of sexual preference.  Mahirap na. Delikado.  Baka mabawasan ang credibility at integrity ng lolo nyo.  Alam nyo naman sa kultura natin, na kahit anong sabihin natin na generally accepted and more tolerating na tayo sa gay culture, hindi naman natin maiiwasan ang tsimis!  Di ba nga, lagi pa ding pinagchichismisan si Papa Piolo and Papa Sam, Enchong Dee, at kung sinu-sino pang kelots?


Sabi nya nag-aaral daw sya ng law sa Cebu.  Hindi ko alam kung bakit may contact ako sa Cebu eh wala naman akong project dun.  So sabi nga, binigay lang daw ang number ko.  From then on, hindi ko na pinansin ang mga text nya, hanggang nagsawa din ang bakla! Hahaha.  Siguro, pinipilit nya akong paaminin.

Duda ko, isa sa mga trainees ko, na malakas ang gaydar, and all he needs is a confirmation.  Kung magaling syang mag-trap, mas magaling akong mag-panggap!  Case closed.

Stalker No. 2

Three years ago nangyari ito.  Papauwi na ako galing sa isang conference kung saan isa ako sa mga presentors.

S-2: "Mr. G., I need you here in my room, now." (demanding!)

Q&A Portion: Nakilala ko daw sya sa isang conference eh that year, yun pa lang naman ang conference where I participated.  So alam ko na na yung very recent lang.

Mr. G: Sensing na may sex offering, "Who is this?  Sorry, I do not do that."

Kasi naman yung isang facilitator na girl, na single, na may hitsura din naman, na intelihente, ay bumilib sa aking presentation at panay ang comment at example ng trabaho ko.  Syempre, medyo may kilig nang konti, kasi sa tingin ko lang may crush sya sa akin.  Hahaha.  Sa loob-loob ko, palay ang lumalapit...puwede!

But reality dictates that I should be professional enough and not sleep with acquaintances sa work dahil ang liit-liit lang ng mundo at baka malaman pa ng asawa ko.  So, all the while, I was thinking who might be the woman making sexual advances and offering me to sleep in "her" hotel room that night.  But, NO!

Days, weeks, months passed.  Naging mas daring and bold ang stalker ko.  He said he is a guy.  So finally, na trim down ko na ang suspects.  May isang participant who was also very appreciative of my work, whom  I sensed na medyo-medyo nga.  He could be the one.  So hindi ko pa din pinatulan ang mga offers nya to sleep with him.

Until finally, he said, "Alam kong mae-enjoy mo din ang gagawin natin.  It is something you love to do, Mr. G."

Natakot na ako.  He knows me, or perhaps, he pretends that he knows me.  It could be another trap.  So hindi ko pa din pinatulan ang mga offers nya, to go to bed with him when he goes to Manila.  But I did tell him I want to meet him para makilala ko sya.  But I never agreed to meet him in his hotel room in Manila.

Again, months passed.  Hindi nagpaparamdam.  Sabi ko nagsawa din.


Then, finally in 2009, while I was on field work again, he texted me.  Nagiging bastos na, pero hindi ko pinatulan.  So bumili ako ng P500 na load kasi pinaplano ko syang tawagan using my phone with prepaid sim card.  I was intending to finally close this issue.  So tinawagan ko sya.  Galit ang tono ng boses ko.  Tinanong ko kung anong pangalan nya.  Sabi nya (fictional) Juan dela Cruz, taga Cebu.  So sabi ko, hindi ko gusto ang ginagawa nya so he better stop it.

After that, medyo lie low ang S-2.

Until finally, 2010, Tyang Charing Santos, a former co-worker texted me.  Alam din nya na may stalker ako. kasi sya lang ang pinagsasabihan ko.  Kaututang dila baga.  Pero hindi nya alam na bading ako, syempre!

Tia Charing: "Oi, Mr. G.  Hanap ka ni Piolo." 

Mr. G: "Bakit daw?  May raket ba?"

Tia Charing: "Ewan ko. sabi nya mag-meet daw kayo pagpunta nya ng Manila.  Baka nga may raket na ibibigay sa yo."

Mr. G.:  (syempre, hayok sa raket ang lolo nyo!)  "Sure!  Bigay mo nga number nya."  So ang lola, forward ang business card ni Papa Piolo.  Then save ko naman, syempre.  Future raket eh!

Tapos, nung sine-save ko na ang number, ayun na!  Tumambad sa akin ang kagila-gilalas na pangyayari!  Ako ay nagulumihanan sa aking nalaman!

Phone ni Mr. G: "Do you want to change the entries on Stalker 2?"

Mr. G, habang nagkakape sa SM North EDSA gardens:  "Huwaaaaat!  Si Papa Piolo ay walang iba kundi si Stalker 2!??????" (At nagtinginan ang mga katabi kong nagkakape!...joke!).  Oo napamura ako.  Kasi iniisip ko kung guwapo nga si stalker 2, kasi sabi nya I will like what I will see. (So all the while, Mr. G. is entertaining the thought!  Bwahahaha!)

Hmmmmm...alam ko na.  Magpanggap ang lolo nyo, using the same number he was sending his messages.

So kahit na alam kong kunwari lang pala ang paghahanap nya dahil sa posibleng raket, text ko sya.  "Papa Piolo, tinatanong mo daw ako sabi ni Tia Charing?  Tungkol saan?  May raket ka ba dyan?"

Tagal sumagot ng lolo nyo!  Hintay naman ako...after 3 days na nagkakape sa Sky Garden, sabi nya. Yeah, meron. Pag-usapan daw namin pag pumunta sya ng Manila.

He never texted me again.

CASE CLOSED. (After 3 years, so hindi totoo yung ilang days lang naso-solve ng CSI ang kanilang case.  hehehe)

________
Epilogue: 

Hindi sya kaaya-aya.  para syang isang pug puppy. Kung cute sya, at gusto ko din sya, baka umamin ako sa kanya at pupuwede pang maging kami. Ang sama ko!  Hahaha.  But No. Kahit na type ko sya, manghihinayang na lamang ako dahil I will not poop in my own bakuran.  


Kung sana kasing guwapo nya ito:





Friend ko si Stalker 2 sa official hetero-facebook ko.  Nag-umpisa na naman dun.  Nag-comment sya minsan sa status ko where I posted some some lines sa kanta ni Charice sa Glee...yung "I am again at a crossroads..." chuva.  Parang sabi nya, yeah you are at a crossroads now...ek-ek!  Nagpanting na naman ang tenga ko!  So hide ang status ng hetero-Mr. G sa FB.

Di na sya nagpaparamdam ever.  Buti naman.
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Comments

  1. haha bistado na si stalker 2, ano kya feeling nya nang malaman nya na alam mo na na sya pla un hehe.. =D

    ReplyDelete
  2. palagay ko, uneasy din sya na nalaman ko...hehehe. hindi na nagpaparamdam eh. email nga pala sya, telling everyone he changed his number. hindi ko na kinuha ang new number nya.

    ReplyDelete
  3. mr. g, nakakatakot naman yang stalker mo. hahahaha.

    buti na lang wala ako nyan. salamat sa chaka fez ko hahahaha. :P

    ReplyDelete
  4. haha..dapat kaw naman ang magstalk, pra masya...un bang, now that he's through, now it's your turn =D

    ReplyDelete
  5. Jepoy, korek ka! nakakatakot, kasi pag binastos ko at minura-mura ko, baka lalong ipagkalat ang lihim ko. Actually, I am still puzzled why he got to know me.

    @Prop, puwede! hahaha...sige bili ako ng bagong sim bukas. habang hindi pa required mag-register ng SIM.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Pwede din kaya akong maging stalker nyo po? haha... mag-apply ba eh no? hehehe

    ReplyDelete
  7. @rafi...hehehe....puwede din!

    ReplyDelete
  8. hehehehehe....buti kpa my stalker hahaha..parang artista ah...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Emmanuel, hindi sya nakakatuwa. nakaka-praning minsan kasi alam nya ang sikreto ko. Yun ang hindi ko alam kung bakit alam nya. (Or perhaps, assumption lang nya yun na kung bumigay ako, yun na.) But I did not give in. nagpaka-closet queen pa din ako.

    ReplyDelete

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